Outdoors is a great teacher.

When my son’s summer holidays started, I assumed it was the start of my 32/7 workday. I geared myself up for the constant clatter of “Mom, I’m bored” , “Mom , look at my bubble” or “Mom, Please give me a candy”. Top it with “Mom, Why can’t I see TV now, please please puh-lease!” In a nutshell I geared myself up for a constant Mom-call, resulting from the always-inside-boredom. And then suddenly I realized, “I don’t have to keep him inside always!” I also realized that outdoors teaches him more than all my educational CDs put together can!
The problem with most families is that there are no safe outdoors anymore where a child could be left alone. An outdoor time for the kid, invariably translates into outdoor time for one of the parent too. And time, as we learn after growing up, is indeed precious. Not, however, more precious than our little ones. A five year old can reasonably venture out himself for some time in a traffic-less, crime-free area if he has had been given requisite training. If that is not possible, however, you can use the imposed outdoor time for yourself : walk in the park while he plays in the playground, read a magazine while he climbs the tree over your bench, paint your nails while he catches the butterflies. The point is, you can find the time if you believe it is important enough for your child.
Is it important enough? Can catching butterflies be at par with learning numbers? Can climbing trees be as helpful as learning phonics? My answer is NO. It is not equal, but in fact much more important than the academics. What better way to instill the qualities of observation and concentration than watching insects and butterflies? Outdoors provide unlimited opportunities for the alert mind to capture. An alert parent can use these opportunities aplenty. Even if the child is playing alone, the time that seems to us as ‘wasted’ is actually being used by her active little mind in thousands of ways. While indoor teaching is quite uni-dimensional, life outside requires each and every sense to be used. Even with the advent of multimedia in schools and homes, it essentially remains an exercise of eyes, ears and an often dormant mind. A park, in contrast, exercises the sense of touch and smell, sight and sound, mind and soul.
Another favorite outdoor activity for kids his age remains sand play. Do invest in a good set of beach toys. The essentials include a big bucket to hold sand, different size and shapes of moulds, sieve to sift the sand, a spatula and a fork. While any outdoor activity presents innumerable opportunities to teach, let me pick sand play as an example of how an alert and involved parent can use sand play to help his child physically, cognitively and socially.
Lets a child manipulate sand in multiple ways – to collect, sift , wet, pack, throw, drop and mold.
Guides a child to make mountains, tunnels, flyovers etc. Encourages creativity.
Explains the properties of sand. The difference between dry and wet sand, their feel and their weight.
Allows other kids to share their toys, ensures peaceful group play.
Explains the child what he is doing using a variety of words, increasing the child's vocabulary and expressiveness.
On days that are excessive rainy or cold, or when you are a bit too busy, an indoor sand box comes handy. Make sure the sand used is hygienic, dry and well-covered when not in use.
Once in a while, you might want to take your child to a special trip. Take her fishing, camping, mountain climbing or river-rafting. Besides education, You will give her an experience that will have much more impact than a hundred trips to mall. I am not even mentioning the effect it would have on the bond that you share with her. I myself have a very poor memory , and hardly remember my early days. However, among the very few images that I do remember, is when my father used to take me and my brother swimming in the river Narmada on his Bajaj scooter. Though I was only 5 years old then, I remember the whole experience as if it happened yesterday. I remember the sight of papa swimming against the river and feeling secure in his arms, I remember the odd treats he got us from the vendors sitting on the ghaats, and I remember the half an hour ride on the scooter. It is my only vivid and clear memory from my early years, and I can’t thank my dad enough for taking the pains to give it to me.
Could a little discomfort and some extra effort stop me from giving my children equally exciting memories?

A for Apples, T for Tantrums.

Each and Every Parent goes through a period of tantrum handling. (In fact , my 20 month old daughter is lying on ground right besides my chair right now, throwing a tantrum, demanding that I hand the computer over to her immediately). Each and every child throws a tantrum once in a while. It’s a natural way of communicating extreme feelings for kids, who have not developed adequate speech skills yet! However natural it might be, it still manages to throw parents out of gear, and the feelings range from desperation to shamefulness and anger. It’s takes a big heart and some knowledge of tantrums to handle the situation correctly.

As any parent would vouch for, children throw tantrum when you most want them to be well behaved. In a shop grocery shopping, in a fine dining restaurant or when you have an important phone call to attend to. They instinctively seem to realize that mom/dad is not completely available to me at this point of time, and immediately demands that attention!! While shopping, kids often act up asking for one, or one hundred different candies or toys or so on. In fact, if observed carefully, we find that tantrums come mostly when the child is tired, exhausted , hungry , sleepy, bored, or even over-stimulated. It is just that these little adults are trying to exercise their power of choice, which they don’t have. It is a frustrating , confusing world for them, a world where mom and dad impose their will on him all the time. He wants to be an unique individual in his own right, and the process is more difficult for him than it is for you. Be sympathetic. Be sympathetic. Easier said than done, of course. However there are a few dos and don’ts that can help you sail through ‘quietly’ through this turbulent period :
Precaution is better than cure . Try stopping a tantrum before it starts. Keep in mind the limits of your child while planning a day out. Keep in mind that he might be tired after a movie, and going grocery shopping then is like sending an invitation to the tantrums. In a shop, if their demand is reasonable and not outrageous, maybe it can be accepted.
When the tantrums do start, as they invariably will at times, remember that it is not a time to loose your cool. Be calm. Let the child go through it safely. If you, an adult, are not able to control your emotions, can you expect more from your kid ?
Do not worry about onlookers. Those who have kids would understand, Those who don’t, will understand later when they do have one. Remember, kids with a tantrum are not bad, they are just ‘over-worked’. They deserve firm love, not another scolding.
Do not give in to their demand. Your response would determine future frequency of the tantrums. Do not make tantrums a rewarding experience for them. The difference between a boy who keeps asking for gratifications to a mall (I want this, and that , and thaaaaat) and a boy who calmly goes through it, is whether their parents gave in to their tantrums when the boys were 2 years old, or not)
Voice what the child is going through, and what he wants. “Oh!! You’re so upset, because you want that Barbie, aren’t you??” It helps them in two ways: One, they know that the parents understands their demand and feelings, and secondly, they learn to put feelings in words for the next time.
Give moderate amount of choice. So don’t say: “What do you want for dinner?” (for your own sake!) but “ Do you want parantha or rice today?”
Kids eventually grow out of tantrums, as they develop better strategies to get stuff out of their parents. (Yeah! That’s true, it never stops!!) So just take it as another developmental milestone and do not attach extra importance to it.